Picturing a full-grown adult purchasing a small box of milk (which Howie made sure to include the differences in packaging since he was a kid) and a pack of cookies to eat at his big-boy job on his big-boy lunch break was so hilarious to me. Of course, we all at times indulge in childish behavior, like playing with old toys, and there is nothing wrong with that at all, but it’s Howie’s self-resentment for having those thoughts that stood out to me. Howie encapsulates his feelings surrounding his milk and cookie purchase as “something he should have outgrown,” which, yes, most adults do, but why? Why do we all force ourselves to grow up and only do “adult” things? At a certain point, Howie was grasping this idea too when he had the revelation that most of his thoughts were either repetitions/based on experience from his childhood and not “real adult thoughts”. Even though I am still a kid, I do find myself thinking about my early childhood. One time, I got food poisoning which in turn made me hate Chipotle for about three years, and while this example may just be a not wanting to get sick thing, we're all experiencing the world for the first time, so it makes sense our curiosity is at an all-time high. I would constantly ask my parents, “What’s this?” or “Why does this do that?” and Howie continues to do this even at his age. His childlike, awkward, and overly observant behavior isn’t a flaw, but maybe it’s some of his best qualities. These milk and cookies are more than just a quirk; they represent this little piece of childhood he’s carried into his adulthood, along with the need to impress his father with his fancy ties, his infatuation with why elevators have grooves, or why milk cartons even changed shape.
Most of us are at a time in our lives where we are becoming adults, learning how to navigate the real world, but Howie really reminded me that things that may be “immature” to others don’t have to be. Maybe Baker is trying to make a point about adulthood and how we don't need to force ourselves to like coffee just because we’re “supposed to.” This is what really made the novel work for me. Howie approaches everything with the same curiosity and turns his somewhat mediocre life into one full of “interesting” things and moments. Even though he knows the answers and doesn’t need to ask himself in depth why hand dryers are so inefficiently designed, he still does, and in doing so, he turns one insignificant observation into a journey. To me, Baker is suggesting that maybe we should carry the best parts of our childhood with us and continue to stay curious.
Howie's internal curiosity (and self-diagnosed immaturity) and external maturity seems to be one of the sole things constricting the ever-expanding mind he holds. He tries to be perceived (and see himself) as a grown adult through extended analysis as to how he must be one due to the changes he has done; and yet his over-detailed explanations make him seem childish all the same. He worries over milk and cookies as if two kids in a large coat trying to appear as an "adult man" and cover up their mistakes - while an actual adult's main concern would likely be far less philosophical.
ReplyDeleteI feel like there is such a concrete way "to adult" if that makes sense. There is so much pressure in the world to grow up fast and to grow up "right" and I think this book challenges the idea that adults have to leave behind childlike traits to truly be an adult. I think it is so interesting that while Howie is being an adult in his own way (for example eating milk and cookies for lunch), at the same time he is feeling bad for not being the adult he thinks he should be. This leads me to wonder why as a society we promote leaving curiosity behind with our youth, when there is nothing wrong with it.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great analysis on Howie's mindset throughout the novel. We have such a fixed idea on what being an "adult" should look like, yet as you said, we don't have to force ourselves to change things that we like just because it's more adult. I also think that children see the world in a more magnified lens, being more curious and taking joy in little things.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great post. I think your analysis of Howie's mindset and the idea of being an adult are really good and very well grounded in what the reality is for many of us. You're right that basically all of us are at an age where we are trying to be mature, trying to be closer to adulthood and the freedom that comes with it. The idea that you have to leave behind 'childish' habits, do and like the right things, and be less curious to reach that adulthood and maturity can be quite harmful, and is also, I think, false. I mean, what are adults if not bigger, older kids who can vote and buy cigarettes? I think it's really important for us to think about the unfair expectation of true 'adulthood' and realize that we can still do the things we like, even if they're dubbed 'immature.'
ReplyDeleteLily, I love how you emphasized that Howie's childish nature is why spending a lunch break inside of his mind is so interesting. He is so curious about the world, and never lost his childlike sense of wonder, and I think you blog post represents this very nicely! It's interesting how you analyze his focus on his milk and cookies lunch as the most prominent example of his focus on seeming more mature and "adult". I think he outwardly presents as very put together and mature on the outside, and it's only this glimpse into his mind that makes the reader realize his internal fascination and insecurity about his maturity. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHowie's milk-and-cookie lunchtime indulgence reminds me of what I imagined adulthood would be like when I was little: nothing would prohibit me from eating as much candy and cookies as I desire, and I would be free to purchase a pile of chocolate to eat for lunch anytime I wanted. Of course, once I was old enough to exercise this delicious freedom, I was no longer interested in eating chocolate for lunch, and I almost never buy candy for myself these days. There is something admirably self-realized about Howie feeling a slight pang of guilt for his milk and cookies, but going for it anyway!
ReplyDeleteLily — this is great commentary on Howie's character, and speaks to the novel's interesting relationship with coming-of-age and stream of consciousness. Clearly, this novel is more than a stream of consciousness, as it returns to themes of childhood and brings adulthood into question frequently. This begs the question: is this a coming of age novel?
ReplyDeleteHi Lily! I love how you said this quirks aren't just quirks; they represent this little piece of childhood he’s carried into his adulthood and I think that's a really good lesson. When something simple brings you joy or even transports you to a memory, I don't think you should just throw it away because it's not adultish. This book kinda of reminds me of a unconventional coming of age novel. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your interpretation of the milk and cookies because it goes beyond seeing them as just a funny character detail. Your point that they represent Howie's refusal to completely abandon childhood is convincing, especially since so many of his thoughts revolve around memories, curiosity, and familiar objects from his past. I also found your connection between the milk and cookies and Howie's habit of questioning everyday things interesting. While most adults stop paying attention to ordinary objects and routines, Howie continues to approach the world with the same curiosity he had as a child. I agree that Baker seems to be suggesting that growing up does not mean giving up the qualities that made us curious in the first place. In that sense, Howie's fascination with the small details of life is not immaturity but one of his greatest strengths, allowing him to find meaning and wonder in things that most people overlook.
ReplyDeleteI really like this blog! something I thought about during discussions a lot was where the line is drawn from childhood to adulthood. When do you stop being your childhood self? Baker seems to suggest that being more of your childhood self doesn't hinge on an age or a time but on your curiosities and things that you notice. and I love the line "we're all experiencing the world for the first time" it's a lovely way to summarize that feeling that there is no sharp turn to take into adulthood. We don't understand everything the moment we become adults, in some ways I think there might be more questions about what adulthood is the further along you get....Idk. Lovely blog Lily!
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